How do You Know When Your Marriage is Over? Find Out if Your Relationship is Near the Point of No Return

Sometimes, in spite of your best efforts to salvage a marriage, a time comes when it's necessary to call it quits and go separate ways. One of the things you should know about marriage is when it's time to say "It's over." There is no hard and fast rule for determining that your marriage has ended, but there are a lot of warning signs you can look for to determine whether your marriage has gone beyond repair.

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Beware of physical or emotional violence.
It's hard to determine how to know when a marriage is over, but one of the biggest warning signs that you need to get out is physical or emotional violence. Even if you're committed to the relationship and want to make it work, no-one should endure violence. Emotional violence can be just as scarring as physical violence in the long run - perhaps moreso, as physical scars heal with time - so you absolutely must keep your safety in mind when determining whether it's time to end the marriage. If your spouse threatens you with physical violence or calls you names and demeans you, that's a pretty good sign that your marriage is over. Consider mitigating circumstances, if there are any, but don't stay with your spouse unless you are absolutely certain that you're safe.

How to know a marriage is over: take note of distractions or a distant spouse.
If you or your spouse feel distant or indifferent towards one another, that's a warning sign that your relationship is in serious jeopardy. Beware of growing distance or indifference. When you or your spouse begin to feel nothing toward one another, it's much more difficult to salvage a relationship. If you've fallen out of love but still like or care for one another, there's a chance to rebuild a relationship, but if you feel nothing for your spouse (or vice versa), you're not doing either of you a favour by staying in a cold marriage.

Likewise beware of constant distractions in your relationship. If the only time you and your spouse spend together involves watching television, reading a book or one of you being 'too busy' to talk, you need to work hard to rebuild your relationship or your marriage is effectively over. Every marriage goes through periods of busyness or stress that may require one partner to be absent, but if this is a perpetual state and you and your spouse fail to acknowledge it, it could be a sign of deeper trouble. Make it a point to spend time together, one-on-one, and if you have trouble finding things to say or find that you don't have much in common, it might be a sign that your marriage is over.

How do you know when your marriage is over? Look for the moment of revelation.
All the warning signs in the world are ultimately meaningless on a personal level. Some marriages continue even when they're well on the way to being over, while others fail without displaying any warning signs at all. The bottom line is that your marriage is only over when you or your spouse has the moment of revelation. This typically comes after months or years of a troubled marriage; after failed attempts at marriage counselling and marriage repair courses; and after every effort has been made to fix the problems and restore affection and hope in the marriage.

After you go through everything you can stand to repair your marriage, and have no results, you'll have a moment of "aha" where you'll simply know that it's time for your marriage to end. It's hard for some people to acknowledge this moment of revelation, and that's why some marriages drag out far longer than they should, causing damage to both parties. If you or your spouse reaches this moment of revelation, where one or both of you has no more energy to put into repairing the marriage, don't fight it. You may prolong the marriage, but if both parties aren't committed to repairing it, you'll never have a happy, functional marriage again. Staying together after you realize you should be apart is a sure-fire way to make both of you miserable forever.

Make every effort to save your marriage before you call it quits.
Most marriages are built on a foundation of love, trust and friendship. People put a lot of effort into their marriages over the years. It's important to do what you can to save your marriage and ensure all that effort wasn't in vain. Sometimes the best efforts to save a marriage are unsuccessful, but you should exhaust all your options before you're ready to give up. If you need tips on improving your marriage, sign up for our free marriage tips newsletter.